When “Doing More” Still Doesn’t Work

Many of us, especially women, have fallen into a rhythm that feels anything but natural. It’s that loop where we feel like we’re doing everything “right,” and yet...we’re stuck. Stressed. Overwhelmed. Wondering why all our effort isn’t translating into ease, joy, or flow.

We double down, push harder, do more, because we believe we have to. Maybe you’ve felt this way: like if you’re not constantly working, you’re falling behind. That your success hinges entirely on effort. And yet that approach (the hustle) is often what’s keeping you from the very thing you want.

The Lie of Hard Work = Worth

Hard work likely got you to where you are today. But the truth is, it won’t get you where you really want to go. The world is shifting. We’re collectively redefining success, and for many, that means prioritizing freedom, family, space, and health over hustle, hustle, hustle.

Ambition isn’t the problem. You can be driven and not be in hustle mode 24/7. The issue is what hustle has come to mean, especially for women: the belief that success must be hard. That ease means laziness. That working less makes us less worthy.

But this idea isn’t ambition. It’s survival.

When Hustle Is a Trauma Response

Hustle often isn’t about productivity. It’s a trauma response. A pattern rooted in survival,  usually conditioned through upbringing, societal expectations, and the glorification of overworking in Western culture.

So, ask yourself: What is your hustle hiding?

For me, hustle hid the fear that if I wasn’t constantly doing, things would fall apart. That if I wasn’t working, I wasn’t good enough. That I needed to earn my rest, my success, my peace.

That fear-based drive, often subconscious, keeps many of us filling our days with busyness. We resist rest. We struggle to slow down. Even when what we’re doing isn’t technically hard, we keep finding ways to stay busy. Sound familiar?

The Burnout Cycle We Don't See Coming

Unless we intentionally break the cycle, we stay trapped in it. I’ve caught myself many times cramming all the things into short windows of time, burning myself out, and then needing to recover, which only delays the very progress I was working so hard for.

This loop isn’t just inefficient, it’s harmful. True consistency and energetic sustainability are more supportive, not just for you, but for your business and relationships too.

When we’re stuck in hustle, it often means:

• We don’t feel safe in stillness.

• We associate rest with failure or falling behind.

• We use busyness to soothe our anxiety or avoid deeper discomfort.

The Many Faces of Hustle Mode

Hustle can look like many things. Here are just a few of the ways it might show up:

• Hyper-independence: Believing no one else can do it right. You don’t delegate because you fear it will all fall apart.

• Over-responsibility: Feeling like everything is on you. If something goes wrong, you assume it’s your fault.

• Proving your worth: Equating your value with your productivity. Feeling like if you’re not doing enough, you arenot enough.

In business, especially if you’re in a transformational field like coaching or healing, this can manifest as taking too much responsibility for your clients’ outcomes. If someone doesn’t get the transformation they hoped for, do you internalize that? Blame yourself?

You Are Not the Sole Source of Others’ Success

It’s essential to recognize: transformation is a two-way street. Clients need to be active participants in their own healing. Just like I’ve experienced in both my coaching practice and osteopathic clinic, people sometimes expect you to fix them. But healing doesn’t work like that. No one can be “fixed” by another person’s effort alone.

You can hold space, offer wisdom, support, and even love, but you can’t carry the full responsibility of someone else's journey. That pressure to hustle and make it happen for others doesn’t serve you… and ultimately doesn’t serve them either.

Dr. David Hawkins shares in The Map of Consciousness Explained about a client with overwhelming issues. Instead of trying to solve it all, he decided the best thing he could offer was love. That mindset shift, from fixing to holding space, is powerful.

Hustle = Control… But at What Cost?

Hustling gives us the illusion of control. If we’re constantly doing, we feel like we’re steering the ship. But what we’re often avoiding is the discomfort of letting go, trusting, and resting.

Here are common signs you might be in hustle dysfunction:

• Feeling anxious during downtime or vacation.

• Compulsively checking emails, especially on weekends or off-hours.

• Getting sick every time you slow down.

• Feeling like you need to earn rest, joy, or celebration.

These symptoms aren’t just emotional or mental, they have physical and nervous system consequences, too.

Why Rest Feels So Uncomfortable — And How to Shift It

For many high-achieving women, rest doesn’t feel natural, or even safe. We’ve been conditioned to believe that rest must be earned. That ease is suspicious. That we’re only worthy when we’re doing, achieving, and pushing.

This belief system is deeply tied to nervous system dysregulation and subconscious fear-based patterns. The underlying message is: If I stop, everything will fall apart. It’s a survival response, and it keeps us stuck in a loop that leads straight to burnout.

Whether you’ve already hit burnout, cycle in and out of it, or feel like you’re teetering on the edge, it’s time to challenge the idea that we need to reward ourselves after burning out.

Strategy Alone Won’t Save You

You can put all the right systems and strategies in place... automate, delegate, schedule, but if your body isn’t regulated, you’ll just find new ways to fill the space. Without healing the root cause, hustle will resurface in different forms. You’ll overcommit, micromanage, overextend. You’ll burn out again.

The solution isn’t just time management. It’s nervous system regulation. It’s teaching your body that it’s safe to slow down. Safe to rest. Safe to not be in go-mode 24/7.

This is about reconditioning your system. Slowing down doesn’t mean doing nothing, it means choosing aligned action from a place of calm, not fear.

Feminine Business Needs Safety

This shift into alignment, into ease, is part of what it means to run your business from a more feminine energy. You can have the masculine container of structure, strategy, and systems. But without the feminine embodiment, the connection to your body, emotions, and energy,  those structures won’t hold.

You’ll resist the downtime your schedule allows.
You’ll subconsciously sabotage the freedom you’ve created.
You’ll come up with excuses, distractions, or new projects to fill the space.

Why? Because it doesn’t feel safe to slow down.

Start Small: Teach Your Body Safety

Regulating your nervous system takes time, gentleness, and intention. Start with tiny practices. Tune into your energy cycles, one of the most powerful tools you have is your own body.

For example, tracking your menstrual cycle can help you honor your energy throughout the month. You might find that you feel lower-energy in the one to two weeks before your period. That’s okay. You can still do meaningful work during this phase, just in a more inward, gentle way.

Maybe you skip showing up on camera.
Maybe you swap out intense tasks for cozy admin work.
Maybe you dress in comfies and let yourself cocoon a little.

Know your rhythms, and then structure your business around them.

Make Space for Joy and Stillness

Start to rework your schedule by intentionally building in breaks. Not to be productive, but to do something that soothes your system.

Here are some practical ways to do that:

• Step away from your screen and take a walk.

• Read a chapter from a book you love.

• Pull oracle cards, journal, or do breath work.

• Meditate — even for 5 minutes.

• Take a quiet bath or stretch in comfy clothes.

The more you do it, the more natural it becomes. In time, you’ll stop feeling guilty for resting and start feeling nourishedby it.

And that’s the key: teaching your nervous system to associate rest with safety, not danger.

Let Your Business Support Your Life — Not Control It

So many of us start a business for freedom. To create a better life. But soon, the business takes over, running the show and running us into the ground.

This doesn’t happen because we’re “bad at boundaries” or “not doing it right.” It happens because our unhealed patterns, beliefs, and survival mechanisms hijack the vision we had in the first place.

So pause and ask yourself:

✨ What kind of business do I actually want?

✨ What do I want my days to feel like?

✨ How can I gently begin to shift toward that?

Begin to slowly make those tweaks. Use nervous system tools and body-based practices to help you expand into a new way of working, one that feels sustainable and soul-nourishing.

Reflection Prompt: Where Are You Still Proving Your Worth?

Here’s a journal prompt to sit with:

Where are you still trying to prove your worth?

In your business?

In your schedule?

In your relationships?

What makes you feel like you have to over-give, over-perform, over-deliver just to be enough?

Personally, I’ve felt this tension in my osteopathy practice. I don’t want to work evenings or long hours like others do, but a part of me still wonders if that makes me less committed. Less professional. Less successful.

So I’ve had to get clear on what I want, and practice holding that boundary without guilt.

“These are my hours. This is my capacity. This is how I work best.”

You’re allowed to honor that.

Embodied Rest: Gentle Ways to Regulate

If you’re deep in hustle, but not yet fully burnt out, gentle body-based practices can be a powerful entry point into rest. These allow your nervous system to experience calm in a tangible, somatic way.

Some ideas:

• Walking: Especially in nature. Rhythmic movement regulates the nervous system.

• Stretching: Slow, cozy movement in comfy clothes is nourishing and non-threatening.

• Qi Gong or Tai Chi: Flowing, mindful practices that center the body and breath.

• Breath Work: Can start simple, even one intentional breath can shift your state.

• Restorative Yoga: If you're used to intense workouts, this will feel radically different (and healing).

If you’re in burnout, the focus should be even gentler. Think: movement in dim lighting, cozy clothes, candles, warm beverages, reading, journaling, anything that helps you feel held, calm, and quiet.

There’s no need to “bounce back.” Just do what you can. That might look like one breath, one stretch, one quiet pause.

A More Supported Path: Inside the Elevate Her Program

If you’re resonating deeply with this and wondering how to actually shift from awareness to embodiment, the good news is: you don’t have to figure it out alone.

My 12-week coaching program, Elevate Her, is designed to guide you through this exact process, gently, holistically, and in deep alignment with your body and your truth.

This isn’t a rigid, one-size-fits-all curriculum. It’s a supportive container where we meet you exactly where you are.

Here’s what you can expect:

• A Personalized 1:1 Onboarding Session
  We begin with a private session where we dive into what’s going on in your life, your nervous system, and your current patterns. This helps us map out what healing and support will look like for you.

• Biweekly Group Calls
  Twice a month, you’ll join a powerful, supportive group of women in live calls. These sessions are grounded in the deeper work, here we answer questions and help you gain clarity on where you need to focus your energy for business and life.

• A Community Space for Daily Support
  Throughout the 12 weeks, you’ll have access to a group chat where I answer questions, provide insight, and hold space for what’s coming up for you.

• Toolkits, Exercises, and Expanding Resources
  You’ll receive access to a growing video library of tools and practices — nervous system exercises, emotional release techniques, breathwork, and other somatic-based modalities to support your daily integration.

The goal of Elevate Her isn’t just to teach you how to slow down. It’s to help you rewire the patterns that are keeping you stuck in stress, overwork, and survival, so you can actually experience a life and business that feel freeing.

If you’re feeling the pull to move from hustle to harmony, reach out to me. I’m taking on a few new women in July, and I’d love to see if it’s the right fit for you. You can DM me on Instagram or check out the previous podcast episode for more details on the program.

APPLY HERE FOR ELEVATEHER

Life in Alignment Doesn’t Require Hustle

The truth is: when you live in alignment, life doesn’t feel like hustle.
You don’t have to prove your worth. You don’t have to chase your goals in a panic.
You don’t have to wear burnout like a badge of honor.

Instead, your actions feel supportive. Natural. Grounded.
There’s no ego in it, just presence. Just truth. Just alignment.

That’s what I want for you.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Thank you so much for being here and for tuning into this conversation. If you found this episode helpful or eye-opening, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out with topic suggestions, reflections, or questions.

🌿 DM me on Instagram anytime.
🌿 Leave a comment on YouTube if you’re watching there.
🌿 Listen to the previous episode for more about the Elevate Her program.

I’m so grateful you’re here and walking this path of deeper healing and aligned success.
Until next time, take care of your body, soften into rest, and trust that you don’t have to hustle your way to the life you’re meant to live.

With love,
Jo 💛